Unreasonable Relatives

It is most frustrating, when J. is working in a team that frequently updates the relatives of the patients under its care, to be informed via the nursing staff that the CEO of the hospital has received a complaint that the team is “not updating the family enough”.

The complaint came from the daughter of the patient. The team has never, ever seen the daughter in hospital. The wife and son (who are frequently in hospital ad actually take care of the patient at home) get updates on the patient’s condition and plans every day.

It’s a classic case of ‘guilt-syndrome’. The most unreasonable, unpleasant relatives, who demand the best impossible care for the patient are the ones who

(a) don’t live with the patient

(b) don’t take care of the patient

(c) haven’t seen the patient in months-years because work and gallivanting about the world takes precedence over filial piety.

Now that the relative is sick, it’s their chance to show that they care so deeply that they can be utterly unpleasant and impose their ridiculous demands on the healthcare staff.

There are sons who demand that their premorbidly wheelchair-bound parent, a resident of a nursing home, WALK before being discharged from hospital. Sir, if I could perform miracles, I would be curing AIDS with the power of my mind in Africa instead of listening to your arrogant, ignorant ramblings.



3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Cairo on October 27, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    lol… your predicament sounds so familiar. On the nursing side the admin ppl demand that we update the pt family communication chart daily instead of previous three times a week to avoid that kind of trouble.

    “So you want me to update you or your brother?”

    “are you the main caregiver. how is he previously?”

    “did he eat well at home?”

    I can’t resist asking a few “probing” questions to call their bluff.


    the daughter refused to take pt home unless he started walking. rehab ppl now in attempt to relish hitherto undiscovered potential.

    Have hope J. Miracles do occur when you least expect it.


  2. Guilt complexes and ridiculous demands (that only reflect how utterly STUPID and ungracious one can be).


  3. Posted by Boxxer Jack on April 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Oh, I always making sniding comments on relatives like these! I tell them, “excuse me, Sir, I haven’t seen you for the last few days. I have been speaking to those taking care of the patient. So what have your relatives tell you about our medical team’s updates?!”

    I agree this phenomenon happens all the time. And they even make comments like “because I’m abroad and I financially support my siblings and parents!”. The hell do I care, says my facial expression.


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